'Tis the Season..

Tis the season…

The snow is long gone, the sun is out and it’s wedding (toy) season here in Azerbaijan.  Everyone is going to weddings and engagement parties. I went to one of each recently, and they were as different from each other as Baku is from the rest of the country.

First my counterpart, Gulsabeh, invited me to her niece’s engagement party in a settlement outside of Sirvan.  As far as I can tell, a settlement is even smaller than a village, which is quite a bit smaller than a “city” like Sirvan. 

We took a “bus”, that was the  usual decrepit and disintegrating 12 plus person van.    I saw Azerbaijan’s Kur River for the first time as we bounced along country roads heading to the party.  As we rumbled away from the city, the ubiquitous cinderblock houses became more scattered, and there were fields and open spaces between neighbors.

Gulsabeh’s brother welcomed us when we arrived, and as we went into his yard  I spotted three huge pots, simmering on  makeshift cinderblock fire rings, each with a well padded xanim  (older woman) presiding over it.

We rounded the corner of the house, and it looked like a Silk Road Caravan had made a stop at Home Depot.  An obviously long standing grape arbor had been turned into a party tent of sorts.  The  vines on top of the arbor  were covered with blue plastic tarps, creating a  surreal blue ceiling inside.  The sides were made of carpets, or fabric printed to look like carpets.  There were two long rows of white resin tables and chairs inside and scores of women had already claimed places. They ranged from beautifully made up women wearing the hijab, to xanims in their conglamoration of “best” dresses, falling down polka dot socks and broken down keds slip ons.

 The party got into full swing as the groom’s family danced in carrying huge colorfully  packed baskets over their heads.  These baskets held everything from sweets to brushes and shampoo for the bride to be.  They are supposed to have what she needs in the time before the wedding. 

Soon the bride and groom walked stiffly into the tent. I’m sure they were nervous, since this was not only their engagement party, but also probably their first date.   They had seen each other from a distance.  She wore a tight red dress that burst into tiers of red ruffles at the hipline.  Her hair had been piled so high and her make up done so precisely she would have done Barbie proud.

Their entrance was followed by the traditional feast.  I’m learning not to eat too much at the beginning, because just when I think I’ve had enough some of my favorite courses arrive, including the kebabs. 

There were some traditional rituals such as the bride and groom placing rings on each other’s fingers.  The groom’s family buys the rings, presenting them and more gold to the bride at this ceremony.

Then there was the dancing, that went on and on and on.  A man with a piece of red fabric tied onto his arm beckoned dancers onto the “floor” that was really a space in the dirt between the tables.  Periodically someone would sprinkle water on it to keep the dust down.   Things heated up fast with all the dancing on a muggy afternoon so a “wall” of the tent was peeled away to make more room and let the fresh air in.  

Just about anything passes for dancing here, if you at least try to imitate the traditional style.  I was doing my best trying to look like I knew what I was doing.  A short plump woman,with the usual gold toothed smile decided she would be my partner. (women dance with women, the men dance together, but men and women don’t usually dance in the same circle.)  I don’t know if she liked my style or thought I needed a teacher but she wouldn’t let me off the dance floor.  It was fun or a couple of hours until  I decided  I’d had enough.  She wouldn’t give up ,and became my tormentor,  insisting we dance, while I was ready to go home.

After about 6 hours, I really was ready to call it quits. But the party was going strong with no sign of ending.  Finally, after the bride and groom had fed each other pieces of cake, we piled into one of Gulsabeh’s relatives cars and headed back to the city.